The Initiator

"The sooner we stop thinking that we are the energetic operators of religion and discover that God is at work, as the Aggressor, the Invader, the Initiator, so much the sooner do we discover that our task is to call people to be still and know, listen, hearken in quiet invitation to the promptings of the Divine. Our task is to encourage others first to let go, to cease striving, to give over this fevered effort of the self-sufficient religionist trying to please an external deity. Count on God knocking on the doors of time. God is the Seeker, and not we alone…I am persuaded that religious people do not with sufficient seriousness count on God as an active factor in the affairs of the world. “Behold I stand at the door and knock,” but too many well-intentioned people are so preoccupied with the clatter of effort to do something for God that they don’t hear Him asking that He might do something through them." - Thomas Kelly

(thanks to the MARK center for this great quote)

Give us more time

We are staying with my parents for Christmas, and have been here for about a week and a half. They just moved here in the summer,and the basement is full of boxes from the move that haven't been opened. In my spare time between playing with Zoe, eating Christmas cookies and studying, I've been hunkering down and going through boxes that were from my room in the last house.

As a kid, I made many photo albums and time capsules. I've kept all my letters from grade eleven on- that is 8 years worth of mail!!I have artwork and other school projects from when I was younger.

I've been in a funk these last couple of days, and couldn't articulate exactly why, but I think I figured it out this morning. My daily Bible readings have all been in Revelation and I can't help but feel the urgency and seriousness of it. I have been focused on a miserable thought that there really isn't a point to saving my old journals and albums, because whose going to be around to read them? Will life just zoom by and before I know it, without having made an impact or done anything lasting,I'll be 75? It sounds very dramatic,which, it is, but I do feel this way, talking to people about how children grow up so fast,and wondering about my ancestors, and how most of everything they were and did has been forgotten.

Usually I like to imagine heaven, and don't look at earth-life with much hope. But now that I have a family, and many dreams and ideas for the future, it is depressing to think that our time is so limited!I realized I can do something about it. I can pray.

I really do love this world, with all of it's brokenness and potential. I really do want to live to see grandchildren, and pass down traditions and stories. I really do want Zoe to have a huge full long life. And so I pray: give us more time. Work through us to make your kingdom come. Hold back on your judgement. Flood us with compassion, still. Give us joy and peace and redemption and love and healing. Let us continue in this fight, here. Stay with us, Jesus, your presence invading dark places. Continue building us up in love and truth.

Praise

Who compares with you among gods, O God? Who compares with you in power, in holy majesty, In awesome praises, wonder-working God?
Exodus 15:9-11

Peace

Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ—the Message—have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way.
Colossians 3:14-16

Hope

God brings death and God brings life, brings down to the grave and raises up. God brings poverty and God brings wealth; he lowers, he also lifts up. He puts poor people on their feet again; he rekindles burned-out lives with fresh hope, Restoring dignity and respect to their lives— a place in the sun! For the very structures of earth are God's; he has laid out his operations on a firm foundation. He protectively cares for his faithful friends, step by step, but leaves the wicked to stumble in the dark. No one makes it in this life by sheer muscle! God's enemies will be blasted out of the sky, crashed in a heap and burned. God will set things right all over the earth, he'll give strength to his king, he'll set his anointed on top of the world! 1 Samuel 2:5-7

Advent

Our friends we had wanted to visit were sick and we were anxious, after two months of travel, to finally be on the road to home. The coquihala highway was closed due to weather conditions, which was our usual route, so we decided to blitz it all the way home in one day taking the southern road.

Almost immediately I could see snow capped mountains from my passenger seat window. After two months of coast and sun, these mountains were an exciting and beautiful sight. The further east we went, the more snow filtered down on to the road and the car. I was getting more and more in the Christmas mood, longing more and more for peace and family and warmth and love.

Our whole trip had been adventurous and amazing. I saw and learnt much. A lot about myself too; things that I am not particularly proud of. Selfishness, short tempered, fearful, greedy, ignorant...Things that are next to impossible for me to change in myself, no matter how hard I try to take a breather moment or walk away. I want so much to be a softer, brighter version of myself. Loud in the right moments, and silent in others. Generous and compassionate. Encouraging and joyful.

The snow was laying thick on the roads now, and the forests lining the highway were an awesome white and green. Living in Vancouver for the past two winters had caused me to forget how much I enjoy the snow and the look of winter in the mountains. Snow, hushing all this muck with a soft white. The grace of snow coverings. Snowflakes were hitting our windshield.

We had to reduce our speed or our non-winter tires would have us slip sliding all over the place...Another reminder that we need to slow down. It will take a little bit longer to get home...Almost there, just be patient...

...And I need to be patient for home; for all the things I wish were different: sex slave trafficking, debt, unrest and workaholics, consumerism and the imbalances of wealth and poverty, broken relationships...

I thought that I was totally done with long car drives, but this snowy scene was energizing me. I felt so at peace in the car, going 50 km an hour, getting to enjoy our surroundings. The snowflakes met us one by one, and strangely, we were at peace.

Not quite there, still waiting for a Savior. Waiting for change. Swirled up in the mystery of God's workings and ways. I've got to say I'm really embracing Advent. I still feel like my travels aren't over. I'm still waiting to go home. I'm still waiting for the surprising glory of God in a baby. I am waiting with much anticipation for God's enormous love to snow-ball me over again, and to change me and renew me and refresh me and center me. Come, Lord Jesus.

Your Redeemer God says:

"I left you, but only for a moment.
Now, with enormous compassion, I'm bringing you back.
In an outburst of anger I turned my back on you—
but only for a moment.
It's with lasting love
that I'm tenderly caring for you.

"This exile is just like the days of Noah for me:
I promised then that the waters of Noah
would never again flood the earth.
I'm promising now no more anger,
no more dressing you down.
For even if the mountains walk away
and the hills fall to pieces,
My love won't walk away from you,
my covenant commitment of peace won't fall apart."
The God who has compassion on you says so.

- Isaiah 54:9-11