Good Friday

On Good Friday last year I was groaning in the worst pain of my life, giving birth to Zoe. This year I find it hard to slow myself down and not celebrate Resurrection and Life already.

I do not like to think about Jesus suffering. I avoid thinking about how it was for me. Because of me.

I've been reading through the Old Testament, in Deuteronomy. Today as I was reading I thought, "With all the terror that the Israelites had to go through because of disobedience, what makes it worth it to follow God for them? Sure there is blessing, but it just seems like so much wrath and anger and pain". And then I thought about Jesus. God has Jesus in mind from the beginning, always knowing the amazing love he was going to send down. In one Bible Study I did, it mentioned the formation that God specifically asked the Israelites to travel in: it was the shape of a cross. God could look down and remember his loving plan for these naughty wretched people.

All the pain would be worth it. I wonder if Jesus felt like a woman in labor, in a sense. I wonder if in his heart he was breathing and focused- not on the pain and death- but of the life that was coming from this amazing act. I hope so.

Today I feel a mysterious buzzing power in the air, every time I look outside...Like Easter is mankind's real birthday...And today, Jesus receives all the honour and praise and worship for making our new lives possible.

Thank you, Jesus Christ. Have mercy on me.