I was talking today with a history major about some of the atrocious things people did to other people in the "name of Christ". He went to a Catholic school and was taught by nuns (and I'm assuming had a fairly negative experience, seeing as he is a homosexual). Someone added to the conversation how there isn't really a need for God when Science can explain everything and the power of positive thinking and self realization meets the needs. Another person piped into the conversation saying that Churches today in Vancouver are social hang outs and not much more.And I felt very ashamed. I know that what they are viewing as Christian is far from the truth, but there is truth to the fact that that may be all they know of us. I've really been trying to tap into my freedom- the freedom I have to be joyful and fearless, comfortable in my own skin without guilt,full of peace and humility and patience, but I still struggle with squirming out of the "christian expectation". To testify when ever needed, to witness, to evangelize to guide and confess and share to worship to "shine my light" and sprinkle my salt. Mostly I was ashamed because I knew that what they were saying (well except for the no need for God part) was true- especially about churches in Canada. I was ashamed for lukewarms "christians" everywhere.
Because lately I've been searching for the deepest truest most sincere love filled and overflowing people and they haven't come from the churches or christians i know (of course, there are exceptions...but it shouldn't have to be just exceptions). Where are the groups of Christians who BELIEVE and act out of that belief? Who selflessly give, not worrying about their city status? Who reflect Jesus' non mushy very real and transforming compassion? Where are these people whose lives look different? Who can testify to Gods GENTLE but enormous POWER to change? Is Christianity totally changing? What would God say about "his followers" in this day and age?
I am most certainly guilty of not living a God pleasing Jesus following life. Jesus was a radical man. When did I ever get the idea that following him would not look radically different?
I still try to love my God and still know that deep deep reality that Jesus lives, and I know that there are people who've taken the call seriously. I just wish Vancouver could see it.
