Still slipping...

Dear LORD Jesus,
Sometimes I cannot believe the situations I find myself in. I confess it is hard for me to trust you, even when you have placed me here for this time yourself. When I feel bombarded from all sides, it is hard for me to stand upright. I slip, I trip, I fall. It is so discouraging to be on the ground with a bruised tailbone.
In this place, where my weakness is so visible, you strengthen me. I know it is you. Still I wonder who what where when?! Mostly, when are you coming back, Jesus? I am so easily overwhelmed with the hurt in families, the pain in youth, the violence in nations, the ignorance of people, the greed of others, the sin in me.
You tether me in place, to the anchor of hope. Like riding a rollercoaster on the steepest part: I close my eyes and sink deep into the seat...I wait for it to be over, for you to carry me through.
When I slip, and trip, and fall, sometimes it is best for me to just stay there. Spread my arms out and close my eyes. I don't say a thing, and I don't think of much. These are my best prayers to you right now, Jesus. On the ground; a fallen being. Maybe this Christmas, you will lift me up. I'm waiting for you, Jesus, as I walk cautiously across the ice. I'm waiting for you, staring at the computer screen for hours. I'm waiting for you, Jesus. I know you won't overlook me. Thank you.Amen.

snowflake cupcake sparkle birthday princess

A couple weeks ago, our pastor was preaching about the generations, and some of their differences. The generation I grew up in is the "Snowflake" generation: we grew up being told that we are special and unique and that everything we do is magic.
Today is my birthday. It snowed this morning, just like it did last year (in Vancouver!) and just like it did in Calgary the day I was born. I am a unique snowflake!Sometimes we hear that we are a gift to the world on our birthday. This year I really want to take it seriously.
I hope that I am a gift to the world. I hope this year that I can live out of my unique purpose and give the world something, a new slant, or support the right cause or person. I want to be a gift to the world in what I do, say and believe. I hope that my life can show people the light of Christ, the love of Christ, the kindness of Christ and the power of Christ. I hope this year that I will, "love, and say it with [my] life" -St. Augustine. I want to be the hands feet and heart of Jesus this year, everyday.
Then maybe I can be proud of my life, or at least trust that God is using me. YOU are beautiful and precious and wonderful and unique and no small act of kindness that you have shown me has gone unnoticed. So thank you all for being a gift to my life!