Zoe: life lessons 8

Zoe is one now, which is so crazy. I'm still not "used" to being responsible for such an amazing human. She is growing in capability and understanding every day: she dances and plays the drums or her shaker to music; she growls like a bear and buzzes like a bee. She chews her food and climbs like a pro. She knows when we are teasing, and tests our "no"s. 

I still enjoy (!) nursing her, and now she really vocalizes and gestures (pulls at my shirt) when she wants some mama's milk. Sometimes I nurse her more than she needs- at night to soothe her, and during the day if she is grumpy. I am in no rush to wean her, in fact, she might be ready to give it up before I am! Sleep, we're still working on! 

I've been thinking and reading about spiritual maturity lately. Through Zoe, God is teaching me about his love and discipline and presence. I think God treasures our early believing days, when He comes so close to us and encourages us. But, like every mother, there comes a time (I guess!) when total dependency- and hysterics when she's not around- is enough and its time to mature. I've been remembering the phase of letting go of my hand, when God seemed to be helping me grow in trust and assurance that even when I don't FEEL him, he is still there. At first it was scary! 

I hope as Zoe grows, and I grow too, out of receiving immediate help and comfort, we can embrace trust, fully assured of the love poured on us. 

Rise up!!

Okay so my friend Bre is getting me all fired up about this...

It is nothing new that women are portrayed in the media and advertisements as sex- objects and that is pretty much it, until we're all numb from seeing these images and subconsciously examining ourselves and measuring ourselves to an artificial woman...Essentially believing a lie about ourselves and the women around us.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hibyAJOSW8U

You have so much more (so much better things) to offer the world than sex. Your beauty and femininity is not an image. It is not an appearance. It is of such high worth that it needs guarding.

And for some reason, taking pride in being a woman seems to come with fists and a boo-ra-ra....But it certainly doesn't need to. This isn't about fighting for rights. It is about re-claiming who you are. And for goodness sake's stop going to men to find out who you are!!!! I have come to believe that so many women are sexually confused/frustrated because they don't fit into a stereotype of femininity. Ridiculous!! What you do, what your passions are, how you look does NOT define who you are, in terms of your womanliness.

Women: you are so precious as you are, for what is INSIDE you, for your worthy spirit, and for what brings you joy and what you ADD to the world!! Take up space! ENLARGE the world with who you are! Stop trying to shrink and disappear.

Whatever you are interested in: plumbing, dance, family raising, justice fighting, business, computers, skiing, architecture, cooking, writing...You do it with a beautiful slant uniquely feminine and life- bringing! Share LIFE in whatever you do and wherever you go.

So...I'm wondering how to promote this truth in my life to other women. I'd LOVE to have a community of women of all ages that gets together to speak life to one another and teach each other...And I might use my sewn products as well...Are you doing anything?? Even in your own life? Cutting out television and magazines maybe? Wearing conservative clothing?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PN3qO4sY3fk

Yikes.

I have been eager about getting back to intentional discipline and obedience, thanks to some prayer and rereading "A long obedience..." by Eugene Peterson. I have been going on auto-pilot and let me tell you, I've been completely unsuccessful. Yet, I don't find that discipline and obedience are hard, per-say.... Left up to me, they are impossible! Instead, because it is such a daunting task, I want to take a stance of anticipation-participation... Lots of prayer and acknowledgment that when I do see love and joy and peace and compassion in my life it is because of Resurrection Life inside of me, like it says in the message translation, " working out of your true selves, your God-created selves".

Anyways, today I was reading Matthew...Yikes. I have A LONG ways to go!!! It is actually super discouraging, and humbling.

I wrote a little psalm about it:

Jesus Christ-

come with me

hold my shoulders and present me to God.

God- the Holy God- the Beautiful God

God who loves and gives generously

For I am a failure on all accounts.

I am so sorry

For going on auto pilot

For going on the past

When you ask for the present me

to live right now.

It isn't much to work with, God.

But you see me in a better light than I ever can

And you polish my heart

Until I'm glowing.

Get all the dirt spots, God!!

Rub with your word and your direction.

Remind me that you're Great and Good

And won't leave me to discouragement

You are a present God for the present tense

And you'll help me here. And now!

Amen!

Mankind's real birthday

Happy Easter!! Mankind's real birthday! Because of Jesus, we have life!!

“Now that we are set right with God by means of this sacrificial death, the consummate blood sacrifice, there is no longer a question of being at odds with God in any way. If, when we were at our worst, we were put on friendly terms with God by the sacrificial death of his Son, now that we're at our best, just think of how our lives will expand and deepen by means of his resurrection life! Now that we have actually received this amazing friendship with God, we are no longer content to simply say it in plodding prose. We sing and shout our praises to God through Jesus, the Messiah!” - Romans 5:10

" The thief comes to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they might have life, and have it to the full" -John 10:10

"You don't have to wait for the End. I am, right now, Resurrection and Life. The one who believes in me, even though he or she dies, will live. And everyone who lives believing in me does not ultimately die at all. Do you believe this?"- John 11:25,26

"Could it be any clearer? Our old way of life was nailed to the cross with Christ, a decisive end to that sin-miserable life—no longer at sin's every beck and call! What we believe is this: If we get included in Christ's sin-conquering death, we also get included in his life-saving resurrection. We know that when Jesus was raised from the dead it was a signal of the end of death-as-the-end. Never again will death have the last word. When Jesus died, he took sin down with him, but alive he brings God down to us. From now on, think of it this way: Sin speaks a dead language that means nothing to you; God speaks your mother tongue, and you hang on every word. You are dead to sin and alive to God. That's what Jesus did."-Romans 6:5-7

"So, my friends, this is something like what has taken place with you. When Christ died he took that entire rule-dominated way of life down with him and left it in the tomb, leaving you free to "marry" a resurrection life and bear "offspring" of faith for God. For as long as we lived that old way of life, doing whatever we felt we could get away with, sin was calling most of the shots as the old law code hemmed us in. And this made us all the more rebellious. In the end, all we had to show for it was miscarriages and stillbirths. But now that we're no longer shackled to that domineering mate of sin, and out from under all those oppressive regulations and fine print, we're free to live a new life in the freedom of God." - Romans 7:4-6

"This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It's adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike "What's next, Papa?" God's Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what's coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we're certainly going to go through the good times with him!"-Romans 8:14-16

Good Friday

On Good Friday last year I was groaning in the worst pain of my life, giving birth to Zoe. This year I find it hard to slow myself down and not celebrate Resurrection and Life already.

I do not like to think about Jesus suffering. I avoid thinking about how it was for me. Because of me.

I've been reading through the Old Testament, in Deuteronomy. Today as I was reading I thought, "With all the terror that the Israelites had to go through because of disobedience, what makes it worth it to follow God for them? Sure there is blessing, but it just seems like so much wrath and anger and pain". And then I thought about Jesus. God has Jesus in mind from the beginning, always knowing the amazing love he was going to send down. In one Bible Study I did, it mentioned the formation that God specifically asked the Israelites to travel in: it was the shape of a cross. God could look down and remember his loving plan for these naughty wretched people.

All the pain would be worth it. I wonder if Jesus felt like a woman in labor, in a sense. I wonder if in his heart he was breathing and focused- not on the pain and death- but of the life that was coming from this amazing act. I hope so.

Today I feel a mysterious buzzing power in the air, every time I look outside...Like Easter is mankind's real birthday...And today, Jesus receives all the honour and praise and worship for making our new lives possible.

Thank you, Jesus Christ. Have mercy on me.