Drenched in the goodness of God

For a strong love

A husband that sees and knows

Encourages, works, brightens and delights

Who crosses his legs at the ankle

His ridiculously white feet dangling in contentment

For food every day

and unexpected offerings of fruits and cheese and stews

sometimes carried carefully, planned, for my pleasure

For a body that can carry

And hold strong

and breathe and gulp cold water

For friends and strangers with

powerful kindness

In their smiles and words and tears

For a free pool to swim in

And not be afraid of the deep end

Or weird noises

But leap forward in the water and

Let it float me to the surface

For the weightlessness and the waves

For the smallest of moments where I can

Be forgiving and honest and gracious

Be transparent and faulty and sorry

Be joyful and hoping and sensitive

For big black dogs

Huge tree limbs spreading

Robins in green budding gardens

An endless variety of ways

to say thank you

Lent hand holding

I was sitting on a crowded muggy bus after 9pm on Granville Street, the rainbow of lights blurred due to the rain, when a lady walked in with ashes on her forehead and I remembered it was Ash Wednesday.

I was feeling sicker and sicker since Sunday and had spent an exhausting day at clinic, massaging with kleenex up my nose, trying not to sneeze over all my guests. And I've spent the last two days home sick from school- by force.

Not many people seem to have Lent on the brain...Or at least they aren't really talking about it. I for one am not giving up anything. But I do want to have some sort of intention. It might be this whole rest thing...Once known and practiced. I've since fallen out of the habit, but what better time to rest and quiet down than when 8 months pregnant! It won't be easy as I scramble to finish clinic hours and write tests and go to school and get ready for baby, but I don't think rest is ever easy to justify.

Yesterday sitting in bed with chicken broth and noodles, I read this verse:

" For I am the LORD your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you". - Isaiah 41:10, 13

I might have laughed a little even. He is almost dumbing it down. He is going to save me, never mind help me. Such a simple thing for God to do- to help me. The taking of my hand ...He really has done that...twice...but that is for a different post :) Yesterday it was all about the simplicity and power in God's help. When I feel like I can't stop running around God will help me. When I don't know how to deal with people who are frustrating God will help me. When I'm so scared and weak in childbirth, God will help me.

God is so good. He comforts me with the news of his help...Which is really a lot more than just help. I could never be a good enough person or clean my act up enough. I need God to surround and saturate me. I need him to hold my hand through everything in my day. So I think I'm going to concentrate on that. God's help.