I don't really like pickleloaf.

I don't really like pickleloaf...I don't really like blogging. But here I am, blurting out whatever is on my mind.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Shrove Tuesday

The word "shrove" comes from "shrive" which is to confess...

I have been much too worried lately, about things within God's control, not mine
I have let anger build up in me, and out over trivial matters
I have used my words for death, rather than life
I have been ungrateful
I am using other methods to measure myself and worth, other than God's
I have not been present for Zoe and David as I would like
I have been unforgiving
I have been self focused and success focused
I have not been truly seeing, or hearing

So I am quite relieved that Lent is soon upon me! And with it, my intentions to...

FAST from outside and negative inside measures of my worth and who I am, instead focusing on who God says I am in scripture, and also to listen for His words of love during this season, and to fast from quick reactions, but to respnd with mercy and grace
PRAY because I put my trust in my prayers finding a listening and receptive ear, for myself my family, the world and concerns on my heart. for this binding prayer to meditate on and sink deep in:
I bind my mind to the mind of Christ
I bind my heart to the deep love of God
I bind my feet to the path you have called for my life
I bind my hands to receive all that you have for me, and to bless all they touch.
ALMSGIVING through non-financial ways such as truth -telling encouragement, smiles, craft work :) and time.

May God enrich your Lent and your lives!!



Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Soon!

The first four months of the year are usually the most depressing for me, and we're definitely in the thick of things right now...A couple more weeks and I'll see if I am an RMT, we'll see if we are moving to a different house/apartment, Zoe will turn 1 in April, I'll start selling all the things I have been making, we might have a new camera (ours is kaputz)and it MAY seem a bit more like spring, but this is Kimberley, so I might have to wait until June :)
Soon I will make a better effort of staying in touch!

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Boasting

In light of how I have been feeling (like a loser) I am giving myself permission to boast a little bit about how capable I am realizing I am:

- cook delicious (David says they are!) healthy meals for my family every night
- Play and look after Zoe all day (and she doesn't nap for more than half an hour)
- Squish in time to sew and think up ideas for crafts
- clean up after a mom, a dad, an uncle (the worst!) and a baby
- Bake yummy sweet things (but not too sweet)
- stay in contact with people by writing letters and emails :(
- oh yeah, and study calmly!
- Use my play time with Zoe to exercise (squats and jumping jacks- she loves those!)
- Do my daily Bible reading
- waste time on the internet!
- do things that challenge and scare me (like taking an adult gymnastics class, as it turns out I hate gymnastics, but it was still a good challenge)
- stay polite and friendly and not lose my patience

Thank you God for carrying me through the days!!

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Bodies

This is a re-post from a re-post, but it is so good, you have to read it:

"women need to start talking about our bodies and men and women need to start listening to women talk about ours outside of our weight, outside of how fat we feel, outside of whether or not a garment makes our boobs/butt/waist/arms/legs look bigger/smaller/more round/’too slutty’, outside of how much we hate our nose/freckles/earlobes/nail beds. We need to talk about bodies that are visually or non-visibly disabled, bodies that started out as male bodies, bodies whose color makes them and the folks inside of them pre-disposed to violence and prejudice and oppression. We need to talk about bodies that ache from bending down to pick up a baby all day and breasts that are tender from feeding that baby. We need to talk about bodies that are menopausal, that are pregnant, that are unable to be pregnant, that are fat and healthy, that are terminally sick, that are arthritic, that are strong and capable. We need to talk about how all this obsession with one kind of body affects the women inside of all these different types of bodies. For while we are much more than our bodies and greater than the sum of its parts, we kind of rely on our physical self to navigate ourselves through the world and to be the vehicle for our ideas, theories, love, and brilliance.


Women’s bodies are up for public consumption - whether they are visually appealing to us or not. It is perfectly acceptable to fawn over and idealize some bodies and criticize and pick apart others. However, heaven forbid we talk about the actual function of those bodies and the complications of such. Society wants to talk about female bodies all day long until those bodies are menstruating, sweating, flatulating, sagging, defecating, hairy, breastfeeding - anything which gives us away as being real, human and less than the object we are expected to function as."

(check out fromlightninglungs.tumblr.com)

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

For His Glory

"But you O LORD, are a shield around me; you are my glory, the one who holds my head high"
- psalm 3:3


I've been feeling like a loser lately.

And I've been worrying about things I don't normally worry about, getting angry at things that don't normally upset me.

I've been lonely for good solid friendships.

BUT God is present. And God is beyond good. He shields me from the negative criticism I bring on myself, and the ugly judgments from others...And He guides my path and knows what He is doing. The difference, from what I can tell between God listeners and non-listeners, is that no matter how low or how much we "fail", my worth is always in Christ, and I'm loved. I need Jesus. God isn't concerned with us appearing strong and together, for he uses the weak to shame the strong- for His glory.