Zoe: Life lesson 3

Being a mom/having a baby is hard, but I have to say that I am totally and completely blown away by the miracle of Zoe. She is a complete miracle! I could stare at her all day.How crazy is God that He gifts us with little humans?!!!

Zoe: Life lessons 2

I cannot actually believe that life is this good. I have a beautiful hilarious healthy daughter, a loving, so loving husband, we live in a great little house with two trees, a hammock, a clothesline and friendly neighbours...I am just bursting with gratitude.

I've been thinking about breast feeding. I know a lot of women just love breast feeding, but I have to say, especially at the beginning, I did not enjoy it. The worst part for me wasn't that it hurt, or that crippled over hunch back position I seemed to be in. It was frustrating to have to sit and feed for twenty minutes, and it was hard to adjust to being needed all the time, and then every couple hours. I know this sounds ridiculous, but it is true!! Zoe has an impossibly cute feeding face, which helps, and I love the bond we share, and the health benefits blah blah blah, but it definitely took some time for me, and still does to really enjoy it.

Zoe and I have been spending a lot of time around other people, and while it is so nice to have more hands to hold her, at the end of the day I feel sort of empty and mixed up if I haven't spent a lot of time with holding her and playing with her. A quick feed then passing her off to an "auntie" or "grandma" just doesn't cut it. We usually have a bad sleep (both of us) from too much stimulation and not enough mommy baby time.

Which is where God has been speaking to me. Just like Zoe needs me for food and love and attention, I need God. But not just in the morning or before bed. I need God every hour. Zoe needs to feed. She needs to spend that time with me, not only for nutrition. When she has spent that forty minutes every two hours or whatever, she is calm and relaxed and happy. I go about my day so frazzled and wonder why...Well, I probably haven't spent the time I needed to with God, listening to him, and being held! My relationship with Jesus is a constant one. And fortunately for this busy girl, we don't necessarily need to be talking to be bonding or sharing space. I'd love to explore more of how this can be: that I would be aware of Jesus' constant presence and lean into it.