Hands

Last year God gave me an incredible invitation to trust.
Even though, for the most part, my hands are extended, open, ready to receive, I still go back to worrying, with hands rubbing nervously.
Everytime I leave the house I think, " Will I see David tonight? Will he be okay today?"
I read blogs and hear stories of women who've lost their husbands and I think, "God, did I read that because I too will lose David?"
I'm going to school to become a massage therapist. We always talk about the privilege of putting your hands on people.
Today there was a rugged, beautiful smiling man by my bus stop. I smiled, but I didn't want to give him money. I wanted to hold his hand in mine and say, "I see you" .
Life is uncertain. Jesus promises that in this life we will have troubles. I can't foresee what suffering will be included in mine.

I say this prayer in the morning, and I mean every word (I think it comes from Taize)

I bind my mind to the mind of Christ
I bind my heart to the deep love of God
I bind my feet to the path you have for my life
I bind my hands to receive all that you have for me
And to bless all that they touch.

Our hands make us so capable. There are over 10 muscles in the hand alone! Touch is powerful. Touch makes us incredibly vulnerable. I want to go back to that place of trust with God. I want to have my hands open, knowing that, although pain will happen, God will never leave me. God's love will never leave me. God is trustworthy.