Zoe: Life lessons 6

We're still travelling (Maui now! What a blessed life) and I'm learning and experiencing so much.

Since Zoe was born, I've been feeling inwardly exhausted. Normal, I'm sure, for a mother. But, something about it feels suffocating. It makes me chaotic. I can't go to my quiet soul place and find rest. I haven't been able to have solitude and silence, which is something I had regularly needed. I've never been away from Zoe for longer than two hours.

But, God has been teaching me, it isn't about getting away from Zoe.

Peace can't be sought out by me, not in the waves of the oregon coast. Not in the quiet moments where Zoe is sleeping. Not in the sun on the beach in Maui.

God seems to be telling me that Peace will be found in Zoe's screaming. Peace will be right in the middle of a grumpy drive, or awkward hurting brothers bickering.

God's peace comes to me. There is nothing I can do to chase it and catch it. Out of the inside of me- Christ dwelling in me- His spirit; unaware of its beginning it will relieve me. It is fruit of the Spirit. The only thing I can do is ask for it, and wait for it to ripen and well up in me.

Like the song says, "I will wait for your peace to come to me..."

And so far I like this so much better than anything I can contrive. God is so gracious in teaching me, and gives plenty of reminders and "hands on experiences." I love getting to know God, and to be friends with Jesus. Who else could make nights with too many screaming wake ups be peaceful? Who else could make tense "we're too broke to afford even this" moments peaceful? Who else could make me, a worrier and despair-er, so peaceful?!