I don't really like pickleloaf.

I don't really like pickleloaf...I don't really like blogging. But here I am, blurting out whatever is on my mind.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Zoe: life lessons 11

Zoe likes to play this game with anyone where, she holds something out for us, we take it, give it back, she looks at it for a second and then immediately holds it out for us again. This continues on as many times as we give it back. She will extend her arm and give it back again. I like to give her the item back (cheerio, cracker, weeble wobble, stuffed animal, book, whatever) because I want to build that trust in her, that she can generously give and share, and always know her hands will not be empty.

I was reading the book of Colossians today, and about this abundant and new life that we live. I thought, "well I trust God", but questioned myself further, and knew that I really don't. I get anxious when I think about total surrender. All my "what ifs" and "yeah buts" and "well in my situation that wouldn't work see..." I don't trust that God's way will lead me into total joy and abundance. I can say it, I can mull it over, but there is still anxiety and worry balled up in me.

The good news is; I think God has a lot of patience :)
Not only that, but I think that He is totally willing to play a trust game with me, like that game with Zoe, over and over and over again. If I have to give up a part of my life, and have God replace it with something better, or just give it back to me over and over again, until I trust, I think God is okay with that.

The best part about this game, or this prayer, of giving and receiving and trusting, is that your hands are always open, and they are almost always full.

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