Deeper I go, into the metaphor that is a tree

You would think I would let go of the tree thing one of these days. I mean, what more could I say about them? I don't know what it is; it is just so helpful for me to think of life through the tree lens.
My friend just died. He was rock climbing and fell. God has been telling me to "keep looking up" lately, but this tragedy has been weighing heavy on me, creating a big huge ache that I don't have words or actions for. I do not feel peace or resolution; I do not have comfort that he is climbing up Mt.Zion with Jesus. I don't feel like crying to Jesus. I feel so disconnected from everything, sitting in my car alone so that it isn't just me and a lot of space with people buzzing back and forth with purpose and focus and tasks. I feel so weird.
If I don't feel like I can love much right now, I can at least look at the trees. They are indifferent to my particular state.They are just here. I went down to Indian Battle Park again, and sat at a bench. The wind was blowing fiercely. I looked up at a tall strong tree, the leaves blowing, clinging to their branch.
God reminded me that we use "Family Trees" to describe lineage and ancestors. Although I think we are considered branches in that, I thought about humans more as the leaves on a tree. We dangle in space, clustered together with family and friends. When autumn arrives, leaves start dropping. Members of our branch fall. This is sad. Some of us, we notice when a leaf from the other side of the tree falls and we are sad about this too. Even though we will all leave the tree as we know it, it is still hard. We fight the inevitable. As Erin Langager told me, when we fall, we become dirt again; we join with God. This is the season of fall. When winter comes the tree will be bare. But God promises to make things new. When the REAL spring comes everything will be alive. We will all be perfect, green, and new.
Life is fragile. Like a leaf. Death is painful for the living because it was never supposed to happen. It all came down to a choice. That choice involved a tree. And I guess, now that I think about it, so does following Jesus. When I can't go to Jesus directly, maybe I should remember a tree that he had involvement with. Maybe I could meet him there.